A Hero Is More Than Just Wearing A Fancy Costume

Everyone needs their own special place that they can just get away. When everything becomes too much, they can close their eyes and there they are. I have a few of those places. Back in my college days, that place was Owego & Candor. I always say that I have several families other than my biological one. One of them lived in that area. The adults took to me almost immediately. But, the ones that were around my age were different. I had to earn my place among them. I had to earn their respect. I'll be the first to admit that I was a walking, talking, doormat. At first I thought they didn't like me. Turns out that it was the exact opposite. They didn't want me taking any more crap from anybody. So, they worked on me. They used to scream at me and throw things at me. But, they'd always want me to take shots of vodka with them. I used to hate the taste of vodka. But, back then I hated the taste of beer worse. I learned how to drink the shots without having too much of a gag reflex. Then, after a couple years, one of them walked past me and shouted "Fuck you!" in my direction. I stood up and looked at him straight in the eye. "No, Steve. FUCK YOU!" I shouted back. He stopped and looked at me. Then, he smiled and said, "Alright, Buddy! Wanna do a shot?" That was the night I earned my way into their clique. The four of us would drink and hang out. We were all young and stupid. Now most of us are just stupid. I bring this up, because that sanctuary no longer exists. Well, it does... just not in Candor. Lately, things have been a little more than chaotic. There are a lot of firsts for me that have been going on. For example, this is the FIRST serious relationship that I've been in. This is the FIRST time I'm being looked up to as a father figure. It's also the FIRST time that guys and girls around the same age as me are looking up to me. When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a hero. I grew up idolizing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It went on to Batman, X-Men, Swamp Thing, Spider-Man, and so on. Then, you find out one day that the heroes that you worship aren't real. They're just a fictional creation from the mind of someone that knew how to use a pen. That's when I wanted to have the same power that they have. I wanted to be a writer. I've written some stuff over the years. Hell, I even tried having my own comic. I drew the illustrations and everything. I called him "Shark Defender". I used to be fascinated with sharks when I was in 4th grade. The different species of sharks were part of the comic. White tip sharks, hammer head sharks, tiger sharks, etc. His enemy was Crab man, who was a cheap rip-off of Dr. Robotnik. I was also a huge Sonic The Hedgehog fan back in 4th grade too. Unfortunately, I only kept Shark Defender around for two years and I've lost all the work for them. However, I still wanted to be a hero. I remember watching an old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video. It was when they did a live action rock tour all around the world. I felt myself outgrowing them. I remember being a teenager myself when I watched the video on that day. I looked around and realized that I was outgrowing a lot of the things I used to play with. My Bert & Ernie stuffed toys, my action figures, some of my cartoon videos. I don't know why, but I put the video in again a few years after that. This time, something happened. April O'Neil sang "You Can Count On Us" and I remembered why I took to the Turtles when I was a kid. I could always count on them. If I had a bad day at school, if I screwed up when my dad asked me to do something, if I was being picked on because the other kids felt like it, I could always count on them. I made a vow after the video was done playing. I'd never turn my back on my childhood heroes again and I would never EVER grow up. I don't mean that as a Peter Pan thing either. I meant that I would never grow up as a miserable adult that would just let life waste away and pass me by, while holding on to a few childhood memories of when the "good ole days" were around. So far, I've kept true to my word. I still watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I still by their action figures. I won't open them, but I still buy them. I've been called a "big kid" several times and each time I've been called that, the person would have a smile on their face. I take it as the ultimate compliment. Do I have priorities and responsibilities? Yes, I do and I take care of them first. After that, I'm buying a toy or a cartoon, playing an old Sonic The Hedgehog game, or screaming my lungs out at a wrestling show. The kids that live in the same apartment as my girlfriend, Tonya love me and look up to me. My friends that live in the same apartment as Tonya look up to me. I'm their hero. I'm their kids' hero. I've become what I've wanted to be, since I was a kid. I'm a hero.